fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
