my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
