im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
