I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
