Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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