White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
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