we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
