If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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