eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I think people are normalizing furries
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
