the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
