What a fucking waste of an outfit
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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