like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
