What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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