Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
