Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
he's gonorrhea incarnate
So much rum. So many feels.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
