He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
