kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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