legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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