I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
