why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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