Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
