Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
