Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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