i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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