Three words: puerto rican gang bang
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
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