She is in my trunk
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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