I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
