Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
