would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
