I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
