Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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