I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
