imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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