She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
