Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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