physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You were trust falling into bushes
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
