I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
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