I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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