Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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