Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
