Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
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