you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
