i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
