Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
