I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
