I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
