you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
