Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
