Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Text me some of your sweat
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
