Dual....:-)
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
