She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
